mY oL dAiRy

被那句话伤到了。。。

2011-03-02T14:44:00.003+08:00

说真的过了这么久，心里的压力还是无法释放出来。。。

我不希望自己拿着“你懂我的，对吗？”，来当着借口。。这句话真的会压着我的心中，很沉重，很沉重。。。但是，今天你还是用了。。。并不是，我不懂你，并不是你不能去，只不过我并不希望你拿这句话来压我，压得我喘不过气来。。。因为这只是让我觉得你只不过是不了解我。。。

虽然，是个临时决定的事，但是，我觉得有一些事是可以预料的。毕竟节日，生日，纪念日是不能改变的，不是吗？或许之前没有，但是我觉得有时候未雨绸缪还是好的。。。当然，我不是一个霸道的人，认定了事情，就死死的一定要做，要去。虽然会不高兴，不爽，但并不代表着我一定会霸着你不放。这不是我要的。。。

所以当你说了那句话，我真的伤到了。。。

i thank God to have u by my side...

2011-01-24T12:34:00.000+08:00

i thank God to have u by my side...: "i'm really blessed to have u guys by my side... esp after tis whole mag epiosde, when i really felt tat i'm emotionally drained, mind n body drained... i'm glad i noe there's someone to stand by mi, believing in mi... when i noe who i can turn 2... although i'm affected by the whole thing, although i noe tat i shouldn't let my emotions to run over mi, but it still hurting mi in some ways... but i noe tat u will be still by my side... like wad my name Evadne means good fortune in Greek, i'm really fortunate to have u by my side. rite now, i juz wanna 2 get back on track again... even though i dunno when i will forget tis whole episode, but it still teach mi hw 2 be strong n nv letting ppl 2 bully mi, climbing on top of mi... i'm really regret tat i'm building relationship wif her... feeling stupid thinking tat she actually wanting 2 be frenz... now i juz wan 2 gt out of this... n forget it once n for all... coz i dun wan it drag myself down again."

i've made tat decision n nv wanting to change again... really 看懂一件事，长大了。看清一件事，开窍了。看破一件事，理性了。看透一件事，成熟了。看穿一件事，到头了。看淡一件事，放下了。（got tis frm internet)

wad am i suppose to do?

2010-11-29T12:44:00.001+08:00

i dunno wad to do now... feeling very lost... lost, lost, lost.... haiz... wad am i suppose to do? i dunno... who can tell mi? haiz....

It'S sEeMz LiKe A dReAm...

2010-07-22T10:03:00.001+08:00

itz really seems like a dream 2 mi tis past 1 wk... On mon my boss told mi tat they'll be converting into perm staff... I really cannot believed it... I really can't believed coz if nt my last day will be 2molo n i'll hav 2 start finding again... E routine which i dun really like it... Lolz...
I still can't really believed it like itz nt real 2 mi... Like living in e dream, n i'm scared tat suddenly i wake up itz nt there nt real... Lolz... I'm really like 胡思乱想一番... Lolz...

Anyway, itz really a blessing... N itz like prayer beening answer... Thank U, Lord. Thank U for believing in mi n didn't give up on mi... =)

fAcInG a BrAnD nEw DaY w A sMiLe...

2010-07-14T11:12:00.003+08:00

juz like wad i put in e title... Deciding facing each n every day w a smile... It's hard coz there's nt much of things tat we r happy abt, 2 smile abt... But as they always say, no matter hw u live ur day, e day juz goes past... (过一天,也是一天)

so smile! It will brighten up ur day no matter wad... Who noes, maybe ur smile brighten up someone's life too...

aNoThEr DaY...

2010-07-14T10:49:00.003+08:00

another day... Another day in work.. Another long long long day... Another day without him... Haiz... Y we always missed those who r nt around us anymore?? 为什么等到他不在了,我们才来后悔, 才来想念他???
这应该是我们每次说的... 当他在的时候,我们不好好的珍惜和他在一起的每一天,每一分,每一秒. 等到他不在的时候,我们才来后悔...
i missed him... I really do... Iamge i already missed him tat much, wad abt auntie stella, maoqi, maoshin? I noe auntie stella missed him very much, very much... Maoqi n maoshin although didn't say much but they still missed him esp maoshin ba... He took in e hardest...
But i noe they will pulled through no matter wad... As they always say life still goes on... No matter wad happened, it's ur choice to whether to face it with a smile or with gloomy face...

a NeW bEgInNinG??

2010-05-19T13:41:00.005+08:00

izzit a new beginning? i dunno.... i've started a new job but itz a temp n i hope it will become a perm 1 by e end of e mth. i quite like it here n it so called near my hse. @ least itz on e east west line...

somehow i felt tat itz all come back 2 square 1. weird but i really think tat... tatz y i put question mark behind it.

yesterday, we had a prayer meeting n it was really refreshing... really it did.... although my mind wandering here n there some of e times... itz e atmostphere ba... prayers really did help in our lives... itz really relaxing in tis kind of atmostphere...

tis wk we r having Red Rain concert.... i dun mind them @ all as itz 1 of e band tat which i 1st heard in church... it juz tat i felt my age is catching up (seemz like i'm e elderly... lolz)... e concert is full of young ppl, e youths. n 2 say e truth, i dun really have e energy 2 go tis kind of concerts anymore... i'm old aready... i admit... XP

itz really relaxing in office now as every1 out 4 lunch... haha... i had home cooked food so i stayed behind... y i dun think tatz matters anyway... coz i'm nt familiar or close wif e ppl in my office exp maybe paul whom i'm seen in MBS b4. haha...

dOuBtInG GoD...

2010-05-03T18:13:00.007+08:00

do u ever doubt God? or u can even say doubting Him? i guess some parts of our lives we do, juz tat we dun say it...

i did doubt God. recently. as e days went by after uncle tham's death, i doubted Him. i can't understand y He had 2 take him away frm us when we had hopes tat he could survive. i dun understand y He had 2 save mi frm e fall over n over again? i dun understand y He had 2 send His Son 2 die for us where His Son was a prefect man, sinless? y He wan 2 save mi all over again, forgive mi all over again, over e wrong things tat i've done, over e wrong words tat i've said?
even taken for granted, y He wan 2 save mi, forgive mi? i'm actually a bad gal afterall. a sinner.

He replied mi last wk, during CG's worship. 'Becoz u r My daughter.'

'Becoz u r My daughter.' these r juz simple words tat my Father wans 2 reassure mi. this is His love, His love for mi.

Becoz i'm His child, His daughter...

dArKeN dAyS n CoLd HeArT...

2010-05-03T17:37:00.003+08:00

i noe myself if i dun even pull up n i'll nv will... nt returning smses is 1 of e ways tat i wish 2 cut away frm them... but each time i couldn't... itz hard... i noe its e fear n loneliness tat eating up my heart. even when i'm wif whole bunch of them i still feel it... its seemz like i'm nt belonging 2 them... i love them, i really do.

e reason i've kept returning is tat i felt e love frm them, n i dun deny it. coz it's e truth n e fact. but i've always struggled. struggling btw whether 2 go n nt 2 go.... i noe myself... doing things always 三分钟热度... i'm quite surprised tat i've aready going tis long...

doing ministries was nv in my mind, 2 say e truth... it juz happen 2 be there... n really itz oso a kind of reasons for keeping myself busy n learning... but i did enjoy them, i love e way they operate, i love e smiles on their faces whenever things get done, after services having 2 noe wad r ur good n bad points...

but suddenly, all of these things disappeared... i couldn't felt e joy, e smiles on their faces... i juz felt dead... i can't feel anything... my heart juz went dead... i really felt like burying my head in the sand, escaping...

a heart in e coffin, trying 2 struggle whether 2 live or left 2 die.

i nv like 2 build deep relationships wif ppl, afraid them hurting mi or mi hurting them. it like i'm putting my burden 2 them coz some burdens r nt meant 2 be carried by them which somehow i might putting on2 them unknowningly. i hate myself for tat, coz it always putting mi down. beening ashamed, feeling low whenever i c them.

these few wks were e worse ever. i even hate going out of e hse, hate going out 2 e crowd, i'm back again 2 e old self. wadz e use? might as well giving up rite? but am i on e position 2 say tat?

hav i had e position n rite 2 say????

hEaRt In E vAlLeY....

2010-05-03T17:23:00.004+08:00

these 2 mths were really down 2 e bottom. heart in the deepest deepest down the sea, where no light can ever shine in2... i wanted to escape but there no place n room 4 mi 2 move...

work contract ended in feb, next uncle tham fell sick n passed away... i couldn't understand aunite stella's pain, qi's, even mao shin's. becoz i'm nt them n nv will understand. but i can still feel e pain of my own... e whole wake when i was there i juz dun really feel it but e last day of e wake we felt e pain in e heart... sending uncle tham last journey was e hardest thing i've even done so far... esp when we saw him movin slowly towards e fire...

auntie stella had changed so much even since uncle tham's death... nt onli her but oso qi n mao shin even our family 2 had changed.... although rite now she had work 2 work on, but wad abt her heart?

where's e joy n peace...

A mAjOr, MaJoR hIt In E fAmiLy...

2010-03-24T14:25:00.003+08:00

a major, major hit in e family... 真的很严重，连我也被震得不知所措。。。

uncle tham is a gd father, a husband 2 e family... he is very gd n nice 2 us... den suddenly he fell sick... he was dianogised wif liver harden, hep A & B... it was a nutshell bomb 2 e family... uncle tham is oso e big pillar in e family, supporting e family. itz really a heartbreaking when i saw my aunt broke down... mao shin couldn't accept tat his father fell tis suddenly, e whole housewhole falls on mao qi as she still standing strong 4 e family which she really needs 2.

这几天是个很难度过的，因为病情，整个家庭的精神上却是那么的疲惫，那么的折磨。。。

Worship songs really works...

2010-01-17T13:44:00.001+08:00

As i put in e title, worship songs really works... Works through all sort of stuffs... Wad really moves mi is tat e peace tat e songs bring... Whereever n whenever u hear, u will there's something different inside ur heart... God uses our daily lifestyle speaking 2 us whether be it when u in school, @ work, driving, having qt or when u r juz walking... N 1 of e ways He mostly uses 4 mi is through music n songs of coz e other 1 is visions n images... But i think tat wif e rite music n listening @ e rite time is really somehow a comfort 2 us choosing e rite song 4 tat moment of time is really important coz u nv noe if tat person might be touch by God wad Pastor Lia is rite when we stand on stage we r building a plaform 4 God come n touch us nt onli us but most importantly r e unchurch new frenz n intergations. When they stepped in2 church they r greeted by e friendly ushers n ppl, but e 2nd thing they will meet is intro video n praise n worship... Itz a gd time 4 us 2 draw near 2 God as He draws near 2 us. I always feel tat worshippiing God itz a great way 2 relax ourselves in His presence... Tatz y i love sing n 2 soak in His presence anytime, anywhere...

marriage or baby?

2010-01-11T11:47:00.002+08:00

Recently, i've been thinking a lot... A few of my frenz r married n they married young n even having children aready... I used 2 think maybe i'll married young 2 becoz of some so called young gal's dreamz... But as i grow older, i realised tat i'm perfectly fine being single n quite used 2 e lifestyle tat i'm living now... But when ur frenz around u r having their partners n gettting married u kind of getting a bit of envy n happy 4 them... I noe my tots a bit 矛盾, like being single but as e same time envied frens who gt married... I mean i would sometime will think will i get married in e future, will i even get a bf in e future anot but den on e hand i think tat i'm juz being scared 2 be alone... I'm a very insercure gal, i admit tat even rite now i'm a christian i'm still insercure esp when i'm alone... Tatz y most of e time i juz hate being alone... But i wun wan 2 juz get married juz becoz i'm scare being alone or even its time 2 get married it's time... i love babies, their warmth n their cuteness... But somehw i juz dunno if i ever hav a baby of my own? Even if i wan 2 hav 1, there's still 1 problem... My lifetime partner... Lolz... Xp

But finding life time partner, itz quite hard... Y would u go 4 looks when one day u will grow old? Y would u go 4 e body when one day ur body might 走样? It's always tis n tat n u nv satified... Every1 is saying wadz their条件 4 their 理想的伴侣, hav they ever wonder wad if they dun meet? Sometimes i do think... N i noe tat i think a lot n most of e time 就胡思乱想一番, 想些有的没的...

Well, as my fren always say y u think so much n worried so much when its seems like so far away? Well... Izzit really tat far away? Xp anyway, itz no point n useless 2 say n worried now... Y do u worry 4 2molo when u hav 2day 2 wory abt? xp

wäd a way 2 start e day...

2010-01-11T11:27:00.000+08:00

i'm juz being bored n coming 2 blog... Lolz
Nowadays it's so much convinence 2 use phone 2 go online n do a lot of stuffs n more n more smart phones coming out n say e truth wad kind of phones u will go 4? E normal phones, smart phone or iphone? 4 mi i will go 4 smart phones i guess coz can connet 2 internet lolz of coz oso muz hav mp3 player, radio it's fine wif mi tot although i hate going underground xp

Tis is juz a random tot a rathom blog... Xp

A wHoLe NeW eXPrEiAnCe...

2009-12-19T09:53:00.000+08:00

this is a whole new experiance 2 mi... Blogging on my phone... Haha but its quite cool lolz xp but i love it 2 go online wif my phone...

hOiLdAyS rOuNd E cOrNeR...

2009-12-16T21:03:00.004+08:00

well, time really flies... Christmas is juz next wk n new yr is ju after it... itz gonna be exciting during tis period of time... wif all e events coming up... XP

i'm gonna 2 treat my mom 4 dinner tis sun... thinking of treating them both actually... but my dad has 2 work on tat day so itz onli mi n my mom.. weird coz i'm treating her buffet which onli e 2 of us (my sis celebrating christmas wif her poly frenz, well 2 bad 4 her...没口福... lolz... XP) well itz mooglian bbq buffet... wonder hw does it looks or taste like? lolz... XP

Traffic lights...

2009-11-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

recently, I've been thinking a lot n once while I'm in e bus passing by e traffic lights... it suddenly dawn 2 mi... e colours of e traffic lights r oso a signal 2 us. =0 wad do i mean by tat?

red - stop ur footsteps, quiet urself down
yellow - wait, waiting 4 God
green - go, walk on e path tat u created or God wanz u 2 go

itz simple. God wanz us to stop, quieten ourselves down so tat we can listen to Him better. to wait for Him, not in e hurry to get out of His presence,. while we listened to His voice, go e way He wan us 2 not e other way round.

recently our pace r getting quicker n quicker. n sometimes we even paced ourselves so quick tat we didn't hav e patient 2 wait on God, wait 4 Him n His words. our hearts been so noisy, our minds been so busy wif things we need 2 do; our work, our families even wif church stuffs.

tat day when i was in thoughts n looking @ e traffic lights, He suddenly told mi abt tis.

E traffic lights r a signal 4 u 2 do rite tis period. ur pace is getting quick n I wan u 2 slow down ur pace a little.

red is 2 stop wadever u r doing or thinking, quiet down ur mind n heart
yellow is 2 slow down n wait for Me, dun get out 2 quickly, wait patiently
green is tat u ready 2 go n take up any challenges tat i've posted ahead of u as u hav recharged ur strength in Me

so, tis is e relevation tat i gt these few days...

i'm going 2 do e traffic lights steps, have u done urs? =)

heard of ever after?

2009-11-15T10:29:00.007+08:00

ever heard of ever after tis movie? i simply love tis movie... itz 1 of my favorite movies... itz not juz becoz i simply love cinderella stories but i tend 2 notice something else juz beside e main actors, actresses, story line.

in tis movie, i've noticed a character tat moved my heart. she was not e most prettiest or e talented 1 in the movie. or shall i say she could go easily unnoticed. y she moved my heart? itz becoz itz seems 2 be so real 2 mi in real life. itz like my sitution in my life. She can be easily going unnoticed as her mother put all her attention 2 ur other sister who had a greater chance of beening e prince's wife.

in my life, in my family, i'm e 1 who always goes unnoticed. my parents put their attention more on my sis den mi. although i dun really get so called jealous wif those gals who can freely tok 2 their moms or go shopping wif them, but i do get envied them. although mi n my mom goes out shopping 2gether but we never had a chance really toking our hearts out. in my family, i can onli be e emotionaless doll. a doll which has onli 1 expression.a doll tat cannot express her feelings out freely.

in e movie, she always helped 'cinderella' in her own ways not tat she helped a lot. her mother always looked down on her n didn't really take a good look @ her. even @ almost end of e movie, she even asked her did she had any part of e situation tat she was in. but she replied she onli came 4 e food. tatz e exectly wad her mother had told her 2 do when they were going 4 e ball where her sister had nice costume while she had e horse costume.

mi n my mom realationship is always up n down when tiz up, itz usually went well but when itz down, it can go very badly. although it went quite smoothly these yrs, but sometimes it can go very wrong. my feelings will always goes unnoticed n they never realised tat their words had aready hurting mi. they keep on saying tat they r not scolding mi but itz doing mi gd. but they never realised my feelings. true sometimes i can be stubbon as i never liked ppl compraring mi wif other ppl. mi is mi no matter hw i can never be like other ppl n i never will. they keep saying tat i onli think of food, if i dun think of food wad can i even think of as they dun wan 2 start a conversation wif mi? they keep saying i can onli think of eating, if i dun eat hw can i stop myself thinking neg ways?

most of e times, they put my sister in front of mi n i do get jealous abt her as she e star in their hearts. i'm onli e 2nd place or am i beening cast in2 small corner?

i'm juz feeling like e character in e movie... but, wad she dun hav is tat i hav Jesus in my heart n i'm e apple of His eyes. tatz wad really matters.

a new skin, a new beginning...

2009-11-11T22:42:00.002+08:00

a new skin a new beginning.... well... itz all started new actually... lolz...

i've started a new temp job recently n can't really seemz 2 getting enough sleep... lolz... although i started work @ 9 but i usually reached work place @ around 8, 8 plus.... hehe... a lot seemz to be happening n i juz dunno wad 2 say... or maybe i'm getting oldder tatz y i'm getting more emotional? haha... i will find my very best times 2 come up n update my blog... =D

recently, we been transfered back 2 E zone again... although i dun really noe e reasons but i guess tatz e way they wan it 2 be... coz E zone itz where we used 2 be b4 we transfer 2 G zone... although we had a lot of gd menmories in G zone, i guess we'll create new 1 in E zone... =D kinda missing it actually... lolz...

e past yr memories....

2009-04-12T13:18:00.003+08:00

hmmm... i'm here in rebekah's place to blog my blog... where everyone is watching how to lose a guy in 10 days... itz quite funny tot... haha.... where liane n rebekah toking abt e actress... XP

being quite fun since last yr... being able 2 go mission trip!!!! tatz was really like my dream come true! i really learn a lot of stuff frm tat trip... i've looking forward 2 go e next trip... next n next n next.... haha....

tis is easter! easter party in rebekah's place.... having staying over nite @ her place.... everything will be fun.... XD

in church now....

2009-03-06T19:09:00.002+08:00

its soooooooooo long tat i update my blog... which is sooo long ago... haha... i'm soon leaving my job in st pual's church kindergarten... but i hope i gt a new job soon b4 e term 1 ends which is next wk... XP i hope i can gt a much higher pay n more stable job... which i think every1 wish 4 nowasday... XD

seemz like ages....

2008-04-28T23:22:00.009+08:00

well since my post has something wrong, well i've 2 start all over again... >_<>

a brand new yr~!

2008-01-08T16:33:00.001+08:00

wow!!! itz a brand new yr 2008! haha... well... i wouldn't say much e past yr as it is a good yr but will hav a great yr ahead! hehe.. itz seemz so funny tot... feel weird... grad frm nyp, den working, den finished working, den VBS, den holidays, den christmas den new yr... haha... seem soooooo weird... XP but i had fun tot... it is a gd yr and it will be great 4 e yr 2 come~ =)

now in airport...

2007-12-12T09:34:00.000+08:00

hehe... now i'm in airport blogging a short post... XP
hehe... in 1++hr time, i'm boarding an airplane 2 hong kong den 2 beijing... haiz... but i can't go VBS now... i'll miss them, xinyi garrett, n G3... haiz.... will miss lots of them.... but den i'll be in china n hong kong... heard tat beijing is snowing.... brrr~~~ c u guyz real soon... coz i noe i'll miss u guys! XD

my feeling of e day...

2007-11-19T09:55:00.000+08:00

hmmm..... feeling very strange... my ham ham, xiao xiao juz give birth 2 5 cutie ham hams... but, rite now they no fur.... sooo tiny 2... haiz... can't play wif them yet...

2day, hui yun n yvonne didn't come 2 work coz of children church camp... n yvonne will onli back on wed n hui yun back on thurs... haiz... sooooo bored without them around... maybelline is taking her shoes 4 repair so we wun be meeting 4 lunch 2.... haiz....
soooooooooooooooo wu li 2day... like not feeling wan 2 do anything @ all... haiz... X(

Angels arriving @ HOGC~~~

2007-11-15T09:24:00.000+08:00

every1 is toking abt e angel tat sung in e services last last sat... every1 is blogging e news... haha.. i guess i'm e very late kind... XP it was sooooooooo peaceful kind when u hear him sings... even so when we heard e recordings, different people have different feelings... 4 mi, i had a peaceful feeling n joy filled all my heart... when i in e services last last sun, i could c angels singing n playing music...

i'm sooooooooooooo xing yun....

2007-11-10T14:23:00.000+08:00

i'm so xing yun to be in HOGC... itz becoz of pastors, my leaders n church frenz tat let me have tis kind of feeling... of coz mainly oso becoz of the atmosphere of HOGC... i love e anointing, i love e whole place... there's always have the peace n joy whenever i've come here... i juz love e presence of God... i guess i'll miss it when i'm overseas in dec... i juz love 2 come juz 2 feel His presence... =)

my tots...

2007-11-05T09:28:00.000+08:00

wahaha... finally almost yr end... but oso meanz tat i'm oso 1 yr older... =( XP hehe... anyway... i'm back in fashion ministry... n tis time, i'm in decor side... XP n i gt a card from our pastors!!!! they said tat we did a great job on e decors on last event! (although i help out 4 2++hrs) haha... i simply love my pastors!!! they really r great people n i'm very proud 2 call them my spiritual parents. itz their hearts tat we felt e warmth frm them. Thank u, Pastor How, Pastor Lia! Thank u for building a spiritual home 4 us, 2 give us e warmth, care & concern and many others things! Thank u for being u! =)

e other time, i was toking 2 chek yeow abt different directors n their styles. n i realised tat itz really had such difference... haha...

like soo yee... she's a very detailed director. she will go through e whole OFS n den she will go through e songs and wad she wan of e shots. n she will go through again b4 e services... hehe... tatz 4 soo yee...

wei liang, he's a 'stable' director... very steady... haha... he teaches camara's new features, noes wads he looking 4, oso he teaches e shots tat he wans...

yvonne, she's very loud n gan jiong director... haha... coz sometimes she tok a bit 2 loud in2 e talkie n i had 2 pull e headphone away frm my ears... XP although she quite gan jiong, but she noes wad she wanz 2 take... onli tat she sometimes e pace a bit 2 fast... haha... XP

koon yew... itz very fun 2 work wif him when he's directing... he will make a few cranky remarks, making us laugh... alwayz looking 4ward 2 his directing... (although not much now) coz itz oso enjoyable working wif him...

tiffany... she's hardworking director... hehe... not tat other directors r not... but she oso quite a detailed director... she will go through n oso e instruments 2 look out 4...

jonathan... he's a very cute n encourging director... hmmm.... hw 2 say ler... he's like very cute little brother like lor... lolz... e way he say, e way he encourged ppl... not tat others dun... but his encouragement is quite cute tat bring smile 2 ur face... lolz... XP

as 4 josh... i've onli worked wif him twice n i felt tat he sometimes quite a bit nervous... hehe... but he's a great guy... =D

melvin.... hmmm.... actually i seldom working wif him n i think tat i need 2 be working wif him more den i'll be able 2 noe his directing style... haha...

they really r great ppl n i learnt a lot frm them... hehe... XD

happenings around mi~~~

2007-10-26T11:47:00.000+08:00

haha.... so long didn't blog a new post le... so much happenings during e last few mths...
1st of all, i've been transfered 2 E5 den a new zone came up which is called Zone G n e whole E5 been transfered there juz last wk to become G3! haha... hwz tat? n wadz more exciting is tat Pastor How is our Zone leader! i am so so so so so so excited abt it!!! haha...
n last sat was our 1st zone event, G zone dinner! i was supposed 2 go but suddenly was down wif mild food poisoning... X( heard tat Pastor How had a sharing wif them n oso they having a party afterward... X( wish i was there.... but nvm... 2molo we will hav another Zone event... but, didn't noe wad izzit yet... hehe...
G zone is so called wad they called a grown-up zone... as most of e youths hav been grown up in unis, army n in e work force which still considering in youth ba! haha... Xp but, xinyi had a different meaning of it... God's Zone cool? as 4 our CG... Winnie say God's trinity; God, God's Son (Jesus), n Holy Spirit... haha...sooooo cool~~~ aready looking forward 2 it...
recently, i had dinner wif Sylvia n rebekah... n tat Sylvia say since every1 gt small names like hui yun gt yun yun, kelly gt kel kel, rebekah gt beck beck, n she herself gt via... so she say she thinks 1 4 mi... O-O haha... so she finally gave mi dne-dne which came frm my english name, Evadne...... hehe...
anyway, i was glad tat rebecky (another nick given by mi 2 Rebekah XP) was so called opened 2 us... she told us abt e her family (uh uh.. not telling u guys =X) n she was a bit luan in her heart... tatz when Sylvia came in... (onli tat time she can be a bit quiet XP, juz kidding...) well i mean Sylvia can be a gd listener 2 if she wanz, onli tat most of e time she can as chatty as a bird XP but she's really can give advise den n quite gd at an wei ppl 2... she can be wad a gal ask 4 a galfren... dun gt mi wrong... is gal~fren... sometimes gt their thinking in a wrong way... seriously tot... i think quite a you zi thinking...
e next exciting thing is~~~~~~ later we having overnite @ our new church!!!!! yeah!!!! haha... itz so so so so so so so so so so exciting lar... haha... itz going 2 be sooooooooo cool 2!! looking forward! XP

working in distress?!

2007-07-21T13:23:00.001+08:00

OMG!!! working working working!! can't believe i now working le~~~ haha... @ least i will have money 4 e next few mths... hehehe... although its temp job... i've enjoyed it actually... but gt those kind of office ppl... i think i will be angry 4 very long if not 4 yvonne n hui yun... yvonne say tat we have 2 understand tat they r not christians like us... haiz... i have 2 bear wif them lor... i dun mind bearing them but still i dun wan them 2 say more bad things abt us... n oso tat doesn't mean i hav 2 like them rite? although God n pastors say tat love those who r unbearable n is ur enermies... =P

a new spirital breakthough!!

2007-07-19T14:09:00.000+08:00

ooooooooooooh wow!!!! a new spirital breakthough!!!! i think hui yun will agree with mi... haha...
yesterday, mi, hui yun, winnie n xin yi had a worship session together 1st time in E5! hehe... n it was really very spirital lor... n i've got visions frm God 2!
vision 1: i saw Jesus from e passion of Christ, was walking down e street n crowd of ppl was following Him... den He saw mi giving mi a signal 2 go n follow Him as well... i run 2 Him, but as i run n standing in front of Him, i realised tat i became a little gal... as i stood in front of Him, He told mi tat have faith like a little gal n He hugged mi. when He hugged mi, i felt all my fears was all gone...
vision 2: i saw Him standing in front of a big crowd of ppl, standing there, preaching e Word of God... n i was 1 of them, listening 2 Him...
vision 3: i was standing in front of God, Jesus was on His right side... n i was wearing white, singing n worshipping in front of them......
as i was worshipping, i took out my hair rubber band n let my hair flow... n i was banding down my head, a suddenly darkness covered my eyes... He said to mi in my heart tat "dun worry.. even if you r in e darkness, I will always be here to pull you out towards e light..."
i mean itz really very powerful lor... yesterday... don't u agree? haha...
after e worship session, we all sat down n shared wad did God showed us or told us... n i told them e visions n winnie was saying tat God 2 spoken 2 her tat 2 tell mi 2 be a little gal to look in e box... hehe...
i've oso shared tat God wanz mi 2 go on wif e videos he wanz mi 2 make n Xin Yi came up wif an idea tat i should combine wif kelly n sammuel... as she said tat God gave Kelly a vision tat to write songs n Sammuel is tat he can compose songs... haha.. n tat we hav something from E5 to submit to Create 2007! hehe... itz a great idea! but, we still need 2 c tat we hav time 2 get 2gether 2 put everything in... =D

OMG!!!!!!!!! I'VE GRADUATED LE!!!

2007-07-13T16:02:00.000+08:00

WAHAHA... oh my goodness!!! i've graduated le!! i juz can't believed it! 4 long yrs 4 mi~~~ ooooh God! haha... now i'm working as temp staff in SIF... oooooooooooh my goodness... hmm... oh dear... i caught tat frm yvonne... O_o =P
ooooh dear... sooooo long le... itz like going past years n years n years like tat.. hehe...
now working in SIF wif yvonne, hui yun n roy... sooooo funny... but den a bit sad tat my freedom is gone.... gone by e wind... haha.... lala...
haha... stepping into work force is scary n new... btu still need to gt used to it... should i find a nursing job?? hmm......

the past few mths...

2007-05-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

aiyo~~~ such a boring n dunno y dayz... haha... i've juz came back frm China a few weeks ago... sooooo fun n excited to meet vero, e 1 godsister n good fren i've made in e net... haha... we have known each other for very long long long long long time... i've forgotten how long aready le... haha.. anyway, we had sooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun 2gether... n i wish 2 meet her again either in China or in Singapore... oooh yah.... e China was my graduation trip... cool rite? =P
but den... i'm going to fly off again! hahaha... been spending 2 much rite? =P tis time. i'm flying off 2 cambodia... wif my mom n my aunt n my cuz... hehe... soooooooo looking forward 2 it... =P

a penny of thoughts...

2007-03-04T09:19:00.000+08:00

juz dunno y... juz have this tot suddenly... haha... anyway, been buzi with things i oso dunno y i busi with wad... everyday seem to be rushing but dunno with wad thing...
but like yesterday i'm rushing church den rushing again to harbourfront den back to church again... but this time i managed to invite hui been over to church for SOW open house... =) n she did enjoyed herself onli tat she's quite tired...
but i'm really glad that she came last nite... feeling drain... haha... although i've seem to be found that my love for God is renew and is becoming stronger but i do feel strain sometimes... sometimes i even think tat am i doing the right thing... or maybe i didn't sleep well last nite tat y i'm having weird tot rite now... hehe... u never noe...
i'm still quite enjoyed myself in choir, enjoying singing in fact... i think i never grew tired abt it... hehe... anyway... i really hope i can play the harp... i juz dunno y... whenever i heard the harp, a peace feeling juz washed over mi... i juz loved the feelings becuase itz very comfortable... loved its music...
i dun really think i can play any intsrument in front of ppl 1 thing is that i still have my stage fright (although e last time i'm on stage with the choir i dun feel any fright =P) playing for myself without any mistake is gd 4 mi le.. haha... =P

CNY~?

2007-02-12T15:02:00.000+08:00

time really flies... CNY juz this wk! OOOMG... we will be having reunion dinner later with the whole zone! isn't tat exciting? hehe... juz last wk we celebrated my mom's birthday, going to Italian resturant... hmmm.... yummy! although its pretty ke xi tat i didn't get to eat tiramisu... =(
hehe... well anyway, i juz love e way it is... all my worries of my lost cards, wil soon be gone... hehe... i really looking foward to take my 1st lesson of driving lessons. hehe...
we will be having a wk break frm next wk onwards... but i still need 2 prepare my ICA... sobs sobs...
church is just the same... going to church, having CGs which was fun... getting momentum is important although i'm still catching up with them... but i dunno... sometimes i felt tat i can't catch up with them... sometimes even thinks tat while catching up with them i'm too breathless to continue the jouarny that i might even thinking of giving up... but whenever i looked up, i would always found a hand reaching out to me... not onli His hand but their hands as well... it is His hand and their hands that i still continue this race... it is God, pastors, my leaders n my church frenz that held on on me that i can go on. i'm really thankful to them if not them, i might aready break down or even not really cherish my life...

wHaT a BUZI yR!!

2007-01-08T11:51:00.000+08:00

oooooh man!!! itz sure a buzi yr... joining recep, den video, fashion and choir... like fashion ministry itz quite packed coz itz nearing christmas n we were rushing out of the training:- make up, hairstyling, manicure... but we were able to make it. as the choir needs a lot of pratiace actually for mi its quite diffcult for mi, as i gt attachment and some of the pratiaces i can't really go so itz really really packed as i sometimes really thinking of quiting everything n give myself more time, more time to breathe... but once everything finished, as standing on the stage worshipping Him, seeing them closing eyes worshipping Him, my heart says that itz all worth it. everyone's time, everyone's efforts, its all worth it. really everyone enjoyed the services. itz really worth it... hope this yr will be a blast 2!

A bUzI bUt MeAnInGfUl NiGhT...

2007-01-02T22:14:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! itz buzi but meaningful night... i'm in choir n in live feed on tat day... i was quite scared when standing on the stage... but myabe itz becoz i'm standing on e 3rd row so i didn't hav e much of the feelings le... but i think mostly it is God who is helping mi a lot... coz i felt His presence tat day. tat as i sang along through e night, i dun feel any scared i juz felt peace n i juz sing louder n louder... although i'm in soprano... =P n i really felt really happy to be on e same stage as Pastor Lia... i really really happy.... excited 2 say e truth... she is my idol 2 all those favorite artists... i really like her n Pastor How... they r great pastors! hehe...
anyway...

HAPPY BELATED NEW YR!!

happier den b4?

2006-12-17T09:39:00.001+08:00

i juz dunno... joselin told mi 1 day on the phone when we were juz casually chatting tat i'm happier den b4... tat i'm not too sure... but juz like they saying tat we have the joy of God in us... n i did have, isn't it? tat we have the joy of God in us tat we smile more, laugh more, sound more happier... but sometimes life juz doesn't goes smooth... for mi, i'm getting tired... been 2 busi n i can't gt enough time 2 recharge myself but i juz going on n on n on... even sooo... i juz need 2 get into His presence tat i will be recharge in Him... tat is sure a great idea... =)

choir...

2006-12-17T09:25:00.000+08:00

i'm soooooooo excited as i'm in heart awards' choir... i can really say tat my dec is really really busi! haha... really! been really buzi wif my attachment, choir pra, video (live feed), 24... but i enjoyed every moment of it... juz like Pastor How said b4 tired but happy... =D

PRCP...

2006-12-17T09:21:00.000+08:00

-sobs sobs- i juz dunno wad am i going to do... my prcp really sucks.. i really dun like tat ward... i still got 3 more wks 2 go n i think i'm going 2 be half dead once my prcp is over... -sobs sobs-

tired n tired n tired...

2006-11-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

i wish 2 go hm~~~ sobs... but i can't e cd is not burn out yet! 2day concert was awsome!!!! haha... really enjoy it although was on duty n a bit of mistakes here n there... tis is my 1st time on cam.... hope tat i will be more into it... hehe.. =D

busy?

2006-11-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

one day, while i was chatting wif my fren (joselin), she suddenly popped out a question while i think it is a confirm sentence. she asked mi: "nowasdays, u seems 2 be very busi hor... seems like very hard 2 ask u out..."
i laughed @ it... but as i think back, it is true tat since i've become christian n joined HOGC, my life suddenly become soooo full and busi... even mom oso grambling abt mi going 2 church 2 often tat i hav no time 4 them... before going 2 church, i was like keeping on 2 ask her out, n she keep on saying tat she's busi or she aready hav asked another fren out. sometimes i think tat i was like a puppy waiting 4 her owner 2 bring mi out... but... now, i dun need 2... coz i've God in my life, n my life full of chruch actitives n church frenz... of now i hav 2 ministies in my hand, recep n video... which i hope another coming up which e make up, hairstyling, etc etc ministry... haha... i really like it n hope 2 gt in... now, it is her tat calling mi 2 chat n asking mi out instead of the other way round. i tried 2 invited her 2 our church concert, which we had parachute band coming over yesterday. but she had appointment with her fren so she couldn't come...
but, yesterday, we had a blast! we were able to feel His presence and were showered with His love and His presence. its sure be sooooooooo fun! n they r coming back next yr! we really enjoyed their concert! n next yr will sure be another blast... hehe......

i'M sOoO nErVoUs...

2006-09-04T12:57:00.000+08:00

haha... i'm sooooooooooooo nervous on last sat... yvonne suddenly sms mi said tat i'm on video on sat! haha... but, really lar... itz a very gd experiences 4 mi lor, since i am new 2 tis... n i think i need 2 brush up my framings and my arm need 2 strenght up... coz my right arm now still aching... haha... =P last fri, i've started my part time job... n itz quite easy 2 handle n quite like it 2... =D although itz not every day n not every wk but itz feel gd when u hav extra money wif u n can use it when u really need it... =)

cOnFuSeD....

2006-08-03T12:45:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad 2 do or wad 2 say... yesterday i had a short conversion wif my fren, who oso a christian. she asked abt my church n i told her... n she said tat itz alrite tat i'm in HOGC but she really can't stand another church =X she didn't like it as in pastor being a singer n being able 2 speak in tongues. she even said tat in e bible tat they had tongues lang translators in tat time. u can't say something tat u dun understand. i'm juz confused... izzit tat tongues r nt supposed 2 say them out or u need 2 understand wad u r saying den u can say out in e lang??? wad am i supposed 2 do? my mind is sooo confused... but i thing i noe is tat no matter wad every1 still loves God no matter wad kind of differences are...

fOoTpRiNtS...

2006-07-29T22:47:00.000+08:00

Footprints
One night, a man had a dream. He dreamed that he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him,and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed You most, You would leave me." The LORD replied, "My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

bUzI...

2006-07-26T16:03:00.000+08:00

aiyo~~~ soooo buzi last wk... haha... gt 3 birthdays in our hands... really lor... haha lucky itz finish le... n lulu was sooooooooooooo surprised tat we gt her a guitar... but itz really fun looking @ her surprised look... haha... well, itz sure caught in surprised... =P

i'M sOoOoOo OuT oF iDeAs!

2006-07-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

oooooh man~~~! i'm out of ideas 4 Sister Evelyn's hw~~~ oooooh man~~~ i think i'm starting 2 pull my hairs out aready... haiz... haha... muz faster think of e idea......

sIck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

i'm sick again~~~!!! sobs sobs sooooooooooo painful... sick 4 almost 2 wks le.... my throat sooooooooo painful... =(

fEeLiNg DoWn...

2006-07-14T17:40:00.000+08:00

haiz............. feeling sooooooooooooooooooooooo down these dayz... feeling sooooooooo argh~~~~~ i dunno lar... itz juz not my dayz...
i dunno lor... wif changing e group mates, e skool, almost getting out of skool (if i can make it), feeling soooooooo down!!!!!!!!!!! anybody out there?!?! haiz...

oUr VeRy OwN e1 BlOg!!!

2006-07-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

we hav our very own E1 blog!! yeah!!! haha... wow! n itz really cool n beautiful!! haha... well, hav 2 thank jeremy 4 e wonderful blog... =P

(p.s.hehe... juz a small talk frm mi... =P juz now my mom's baby gal was crying 4 dunno wad reason. so i had no choice den singing her songs... (which are e worships songs tat i've remember =D) amazingly, she stopped crying... thank God... haha... frm den on, i think i should sing worship songs whenever she started crying... wad do u think? ;) =P)

FiRe CoNfErEnCe...

2006-07-03T18:18:00.000+08:00

it was an amazing sat morning... i've nv tot tat i would be able 2 hear n c Reinhard Bonnke. he is an evangelist and a great speaker. really! i enjoyed his sermon a lot (although my head was nodding away during e middle of e sermon... i confess...=P) anyway, overall i really really really enjoyed it... i wish i had e money 2 buy e dvd... =P almost 2 e end he prayed 4 us, n i dunno itz mi or wad... but after his hand lay on mi, my back pain from sitting a bit long was gone n i felt more refreshing... =P

ViDeO mInIsTrY

2006-07-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

OMG!! haha... tat day Sister Evelyn told mi tat i'm in video ministry... i'm quite surprised (although Jacksom did tell mi b4hand tat he gave my name 2 Sister Evelyn 4 e ministry =P) well, i'm soooooooo looking forward 2 it!!!! haha... =P

i'M bAcK!!

2006-06-15T16:13:00.000+08:00

hey!!!!!!! i'm back!! hahaha...hm sweet hm! oh man! miss everybody aready... haha.... wad should i do? nv go 4 overseas holidays 4 2 long?? haha... hehe... malaysia is gd lar... but still e way they did things really sucks... =P sorri abt it... haha...

sIcK aGaIn...

2006-06-06T10:44:00.000+08:00

haiz... sick again... itz all tat heavy rain's fault... tot itz juz a small rain but juz step out of e hospital it started 2 pour down, heavily. argh.... all wet from outside 2 inside! -sobs sobs- i'm still sick, sick for 1 wk! poor mi...
anyway, my posting in IMH finally finished! yeah! finally! haha.. i still a bit dun like e posting lar... i dunno y... i juz dun really like it.. =P

rEd RaIn...

2006-06-06T10:37:00.000+08:00

hmm... i think i'm late on tis posting le... haha... 2 wks late in fact... haha... anyway... red rain concert was really impactable... really! it was awesome! e songs were great! e whole concert was great~~~!! hehe......

pRaYeR mEeTiNg N vIdEo...

2006-05-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

2day was soooooooooooooooo cool... learnt a lot of things frm e video n wad really impacted mi is tat 2day's prayer meeting... although i didn't heard frm Him but i felt His presence n really feeling peace in my heart n felt tat some1 touched my head... haha... really lor... i've nv felt so strong in His presence b4... n after tat feels soooooooo light headed haha... like something click in my head n i felt so light... haha... =D

sooooo happening...

2006-05-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

i met winnie n yun fang 2day 4 e video tat i miss last wk... i dunno wad 2 say but really learnt a lot lor... haha... n we do quiet time 2gether 2! hehe... really nice... i juz finish e video tat winnie lend mi... itz all abt miracles n really impacted mi... e most imparted mi was e man raising frm dead when he was dead 4 3dayz... really amazing rite? =D

mOtHeR's DaY...

2006-05-16T18:30:00.000+08:00

on mother's day, we oso dunno wad 2 do anyway as we go for mother's day treat on sat... but i've aready gave my present 2 her aready n really although cost mi quite ex(of coz itz dimond necklace =P) anyway, itz really nice lar... n she really like it tatz e most important thing lor... =D

PoLy PoWeR....

2006-05-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

wah!!! 2day sermon really powerful lor... pastor how teach us how 2 reach out 2 our frenz in polys n we really learnt a lot lor... although itz quite short... =p but e most powerful part is tat we pray n God speaking 2 us n we went 2 e alter there... itz powerful really powerful... haha... n we made more frenz frm our own skool, so wonderful isn't? haha...

tRyInG...

2006-05-04T18:52:00.000+08:00

haiz... soooooooo tiring... beening sick n hav 2 go 4 examz... lucky 2molo is last paper but tat i can survive haha... beside trying 2 survive e exams period, i'm oso helping my mom taking care of baby... haha... my mom is a nanny so she always taking care of babies... i love those babies... they r sooooooooooooo kawaii!!!!!! love 2 pinch their faces... haha...=P but tis baby is not giving mi face... cry everytime i carry her... -sobs sobs- -pout- =P

aN wOnDeRfUl NiGhT...

2006-05-01T18:54:00.000+08:00

last nite was a very wonderful nite... last nite we celebrate pastor lia's birthday wif e performaces tat our church ppl had nu li praticing... 4 mi, i helped out in e deco team n c tat a lot of things hav 2 be done 2 make tis event sooooooo successful. actually, i really think last event was so successful as becoz was e whole church put in a lot of efforts into tis event. i was there when they r preparing for e last time, for e last check, it makes mi realised tat wadz make an event so successful, is tat every1 put in their efforts wif all their hearts which makes mi... hmm... i dunno how 2 decribe but tis feeling really impacted mi... it feels really great 2 be part of it, 2 be part of preparing it... it really makes mi happy when our efforts came out into a great event...
e preformaces r great! =D e dance was good onli a small part tat not so perfect is tat some guyz dun hav time 2 put on their jackets. but of all e performaces, i like e band e most. i dunno y but i juz like it esp liane's di zi. =D but e most anointing part of e event was e choir. really anoniting! but wad amazed mi was tat after e song tat e choir sang, my chest pain was gone. i was actually sick for 2 days b4 yesterday n i always had chest pain whenever i had cough. but after e song, my chest pain actually had gone when i cough. isn't it amazing? haha... but wad i really think is tat Father God muz had healed my chest pain when we sung e song. =D=P
after all tis, pastors' smiles were our rewards for all our efforts. tatz wad i think... coz i love their smiles... =)

i'M sIcK...

2006-04-30T12:17:00.000+08:00

i'm sick!!!!!! sooooooo poor thing... sobs sobs... head so heavy, eye lids sooo heavy, nose blocked... hao xin ku oh.... sobs sobs.... can some1 out there help mi?? hahaha.... haiz.... eyes watery........

pRePaRiNg FoR pAsToR LiA's bIrThDaY...

2006-04-24T12:17:00.000+08:00

i've recieved a sms frm cui ting tis morning tat i'm in pastor lia's birthday deco team... haha... quite happy abt it and 2 be in it... looking forward 2 it 2 say e truth... juz hope n pray tat everything will go well... =>

sO sAd...

2006-04-24T12:08:00.000+08:00

wah~~~~~~~ -sobs sobs- soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sad 2day... i failed my pra test 2day!!! n now i hav 2 repeat e module... wah!!!!!!! -sobs sobs- soooooooooo sad... juz cried finished... sobs sobs...
i'm sooooooooooooo disappointed with myself!!!! soooooooooo stupid... those skills seem sooo easy but i still can't get it rite and messing it again!!! sobs sobs...
i hate my stupid mind lar.... sooooooooooooo stupid.... can't think properly in e test... sobs sobs.... wad 2 do???
but den... God will always be here with mi as He promised........

a year had gone past...

2006-01-10T14:38:00.000+08:00

hmmm... finally a yr had gone and a brand new yr coming up! =D i've juz started my yr 3 course... sooooooooo stress up even though i juz started onli... haha... had enjoyed my attachment in kkh they r fun but most of e time can be quite boring... =P
our church had tis major blash on 31 dec, which i onli go 4 e 1st part... itz really exciting n enjoyable... e performances really caught e audiences' eyes n cheering 4 them... next time i will wan 2 4 e whole part... itz sooooo exciting! hmm... wad will be next?
wad else will be waiting 4 mi next? =D

fInAlLy....

2005-12-10T21:54:00.000+08:00

finally!!! i can cum in n post le!!! sooooo much things happened, so much things tat i hav encounter... where should i start? hmm....feel like crying 1 more time again...haha...
my grandmoter beening admin 2 hospital n going 2 church very e often n enjoying it n lots lots lots more... wad should i say...
oh!!!!! yes! i'm in school of worship learning vocals n gutiar. great isn't it? haha...learning a lot frm e teachers lor...hehe...=P love 2 be in their lessons...=P

CaMe BaCk FrM cAmP...

2005-11-12T09:59:00.000+08:00

juz come back from camp last wk... it was fun... we played a lot of games n e part tat i loved e most is e nite services... they r soooo cool... n i learnt a lot frm our pastors... hope to go more of these services... =>

last paper 2molo...

2005-10-31T16:45:00.000+08:00

wow... time really flies fast... 2molo i'll be sitting 4 my last paper 4 tis sem... itz sooooo fast like u can't catch it... 2molo i'll be going 4 e youth camp.... hehehe... although i noe i'm not young aready... hahaha... well, i'll be going for 4 dayz... so, lets c wad will happen next...=P

my 1st entry...

2005-10-24T15:21:00.000+08:00

i dunno wad to say rite now... being a christian for 2 mths pluz... n itz like soooooooo magical 2 mi... being able 2 meet more n new frenz... being able 2 smile n laugh freely... not like b4... getting used to go out a whole group of frenz, not like last time when i juz went out wif my close frenz... i really treasure these momentz wif them...=)